Since I've nothing better to do, I shall post some funny (read: LAME) jokes. These jokes are not for the unlame-hearted. Some jokes are pretty sick, so try not to get offended. If you do, please kindly press Alt and F4 at the same time. Ctrl, Alt and Del works too.
If nothing is impossible .. ever tried slamming a revolving door ? Xp
What do John the Baptist & Winnie the Pooh have in common?Their middle name.
3 old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three"? "274" was his reply. The doctor says to the second man "It's your turn. What is three times three"? "Tuesday" replys the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "OK, Your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine" says the third man. "That's great" says the doctor. "How did you get that"? "Simple" says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
What did one math textbook say to the other? We've got problems.
As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze
you, because I can't forget last night.
You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.
You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly without any reservations,
you laid on my naked body...you sensed my indifference,
so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation,
and you drove me near crazy while you drained me.
Finally I went to sleep. Today when I woke up, you were gone,
I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last
nights events.
My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishings, making it harder to forget you. Tonight I will remain awake waiting for you.................. you bloody mosquito.
Jimmy and John dies in accident Jimmy goes to heaven and John goes to hell. One day Jimmy looks down and sees John in hell. He has a beer in his hand and a pretty blonde in his arms. Jimmy gets pissed and he tells God "This is unfair! I wanna go to hell! " And God replies "Everything is fair on earth, because the beer has a hole and the blonde does not.''
Why did the cottage go on a diet? Because it wanted to be a lighthouse.
Two eggs were in a frying pan one day. One egg said :" It's a bit hot in here, isn't it? "
The other egg said :" Holy shit, A TALKING EGG! "
What was the last movie you saw? Saw 4. (that uber gory movie)
One idiot(the joke said he was an idiot) who did not learn English very well, went to America to work. Not long after, he had a crush on a girl. He asked the girl to marry him. She said : " I can't, I'm a lesbian. " The man asked her what is a lesbian. She said she is attracted only to females. The man said don't worry, I'm a lesbian too.
Ok last one. If all these jokes are so lame, WHERE ARE THEIR BLOODY CRUTCHES!?!?!?!
And another lame video to finish this post. TEEHEE!
